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I became so overwhelmed, I considered suicide - but it doesn't have to be like this....

As darkness and despair descended on an otherwise normally bright and cheerful persona, it presented a time to reflect, re-evaluate and reassess. Then the world went into a global pandemic with lockdown and with no work, this exacerbated my issues.

Everyone knows me (Steve Whitton) as the long-serving, upbeat and positive Automotive Trainer, Speaker, Consultant and Coach. Many have seen me host awards ceremonies and large conferences and been in awe of the confidence and ease with which I hold an audience – but, that was the “me” I portrayed to the outside world! For many years I’d been carrying around deep rooted un-ease, born out of childhood traumas and unresolved thought processes – so it was only a matter of time before the pot not only boiled over, but fell to the floor and flooded the kitchen!

I revealed my inner-most pains and secrets to those closest to me, without realising the devastating affect it would have on them – how naïve as a communications specialist to miss that most important point. And so, the slippery slope into darkness began!

Throughout the summer of 2020 then, I was placed in positions of having to make numerous decisions, not least of which was the future of my business and the type of work I continued. I was overwhelmed, everywhere I looked were problems and challenges – I couldn’t think straight. I even contemplated the possibility of the planet not needing me on it anymore! Whoa, screech of brakes in my head, that’s not me to think in that way!

Then, with the guidance of some amazing people within my inner circle, it finally arrived! My purpose, my direction, my reason for being!

As Mark Twain famously said, “there are two important days in your life, the day you’re born and the day you realise why!”

The darkness lifted and suddenly, everything was crystal clear and the light I’d sought for many years was now blinding!

So, after pondering and thinking on long walks and time in the garden, an idea was sown and as it grew and took shape, it became evident, this was it! My “service” to humanity, to my Sector, to my friends and family is to share my experience and through the gift of empathy, understanding and coaching, to help other men in the Automotive Sector who may have, be having or could have challenges to their mental health through what they’re going through. And as I explored and contemplated the sector, I realised that the issues of mental well-being are rife and that we’re not as well equipped in the industry as we could be!

How many leaders across the sector are fully equipped with the emotional intelligence and empathy to fully engage teams of people, how well do our managers cope with extracting as much “performance” out of our businesses whilst pastorally caring for their team members AND what is the culture like in our businesses to deal with issues when they arise? Now, Mental Health intervention is clearly moving up the agenda in businesses and there are interventions popping up that cater for managers to make them aware of what to look out for and how to deal with crises as they arise. But – what about long before the crisis strikes? How do we as a sector promote discussion and openness about the challenges and stressors of modern life – especially in a fast paced environment and especially when the world’s normal is starting to look so different?

It then dawned on me – we need to start something, a movement, a collective, a collaboration of like-minded individuals that share the beliefs that our amazing sector can be even more awesome with an enlightened set of views around mental health and all that goes with it – relationships, money, aspirations, emotions, sexuality, addictive behaviours – the list goes on! I want us as a sector to Enable Men to feel empowered to speak openly about the issues that affect them and through supportive cultures, thrive and grow and at the same time, benefit business.

So, MENable was born with a clear purpose – to get conversations started in the industry to drive cultures. Though engagement with the most senior leaders, a cascading of attitudes and beliefs to managers and the creation of work based champions to support peers, we will help the most progressive businesses to work into their growth strategies, the openness needed to encourage discussions that aim to prevent crises before they happen – we also will provide support and help to those who are already in crisis.

Since inception just a few weeks ago (early August 2020) MENable has gained 4 Ambassadors, 2 in the UK, 1 in Canada and 1 in the US. We have a team of coaches and consultants ready to work with individuals or teams who’d like to refresh or revise their thoughts or approach and organisations who can support us with individuals who need more involved support. It’ll be a gradual process, but we’re massively inspired by the support and interest shown so far. For more info on the movement, please visit www.menable.org

For me, it’s still a journey, but through darkness I’ve found light and my energy is lifted way beyond levels previously experienced – I’m looking forward now to what the future holds, so as I go on this journey, if I / we can help others (men) in this wonderful sector to talk openly, we’ll be on our way to a brighter outlook for everyone.



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© 2018 by Stephen J. Whitton - C-Suite Coach